Getting Dressed ft. Machine Learning

My alarm goes off at 7:45, I roll out of bed and drag my portable heater with me to my closet – thanks freezing SF summers, where I stand until I remember why I’m there.

People always say “dress for the job you want”, and “your clothes determine your mood”, but before my morning coffee, all I can think about is how the job I want is professional napper and my mood is meh at best. My 7:45am brain is very tired.

Still half asleep, my thoughts wander to the Jetsons, a futuristic kid’s show from the ’80s, that had technology that was actually useful (looking at you, pillow remote).

Read:  The Dress-O-Matic. You walk in, it dresses you and you’re ready for the day. WHAT.

Where is Elon Musk and why hasn’t he created this yet?

Let’s put a pause on flying cars and focus on what really matters.

TBH if I needed more room for my own Dress-O-Matic I’d move apartments.

My pre-coffee-brain yearns for a Dress-O-Matic. Or at least a helping hand to get me looking fierce as hell.

Sleepily, I search the app store, and found a solution that claims Machine Learning(?) would do the thinking and styling for me.


I then asked the obvious questions: WTF is Machine Learning and can it make me look more #BossBitch and less #Boss-ish?!

The answers were simple(thanks engineers that let me bother them with tech questions 10x a day). Machine Learning is when computer or mobile technology takes in data you’ve provided and learns(!) more about you and your preferences to suggest content you may have not thought of otherwise. It’s amazing and it’s freaky. But it can also make me look like a #BossBitch. So I’m about it.

This brings me to Chicisimo – the ultimate outfit recommender, thanks to Machine Learning. It knows what I like to wear(read: bright blazers), and how I like to wear it(read: over plain tees). It provides outfit suggestions instantly. #yaasss

It also knows what I didn’t know I liked to wear(read: patterned blazers), and how I would like to wear it(read: over graphic tees). #stylegoals

If only my pre-coffee-brain could hug Machine Learning. And Chicisimo.

Alas, it cannot, but it can say a prayer of thanks inside my #BossBitch looking self.



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