Dating Struggles ft. Neural Networks

I once matched with a guy on Bumble who worked for a company whose name rhymes with ‘Foofle’. It was my first time going out with someone from a dating app, and naturally I was convinced he was a serial killer. When I asked him to send me a snap of his face he sent a selfie with the PUG FILTER. WHY?! Luckily my best friends Alyssa and Monica(bless them) agreed to go incognito at the bar we were going to.

The date went fine, I fake laughed at his terrible jokes, and drank the red wine he bought even though I asked for white (I’m allergic to red -_-). It was going about as average as any date could possibly go – until he started talking about what he did for work.

Blah blah boring boring Neural Networks blah blah.

Something most people don’t know about me is that my background is in Psychology. #truth

So when I heard the word Neural, my interest finally peaked!

“Neural means neurons which create crazy complex connections in the brain!! The brain is a giant Network of them!” – I mansplained to him before he could to me.

Mwahaha take that, Foofle.








Less than an hour into the date, I could tell this guy was no brain scientist, and my friends were ready to leave. Adios, BumbleMan!

Fast forward to my late night internet deep dive into Neural Networks. Wow that’s poetic.

I had Siri Google Neural Networks because I didn’t want to. #petty

Apparently neural networks are the science behind artificial intelligence and machine learning! Programmers design these networks for machines to learn(!!) patterns, store the information in nodes(kind of like hubs of information where other information can stem from) and then apply(?!) what they’ve learned to other, more complex problems.

TL;DR: Computer Neural Networks are almost as cool as the real ones in your brain!

This discovery made me want to think about all the ways I would use Neural Networks.
Read: A system of networks that learn about all of my dogs quirks, habits and noises she makes – so it could essentially translate my little Bella’s yips, fake sneezes and random noises into something any human could understand!!


Needless to say my BumbleMan dating adventures did not pan out, but now I know a WHOLE FRIGGIN’ BRANCH OF MODERN-AGE TECHNOLOGY is based on the brain!

If that node(lol) of information isn’t worth an awkward date and a few hives from my red wine, then I don’t know what is.

Leave a Comment!