Dating Wins ft. Artificial Intelligence

Filling out a dating profile is like buying jeans that you could definitely only fit into before you gained the Freshman 15 and then the ‘rest of college 40’.

They are not real life.

They are #goals.

Same goes for a dating profile.

Example One:

My best friend indicated on her Hinge dating account that she “wants kids”.

Interestingly enough, here are some of the memes she spams my inbox with daily:




There seems to be a bit of inconsistency here.

But she is not the first to do this.

And she won’t be the last.

How the heck are you supposed to trust these dating apps?!?!

Or do you just marry your dog and call it a day?

Lucky for her I am an expert level problem solver.

I do not want her to end up in a wedding chapel with her dog.

Or to marry someone who wants 10 kids.

#blessed by my obsession with all things AI and ML, I was able to find her the


Meet AIMM. The newest Matchmaking service powered by Artificial Intelligence or AI.

And AI is THE thing to know about right now.

Even more important than COLTON being picked as the next Bachelor.


I digress.

Humans have created machines – or Artificial Intelligence that can learn.

And geniuses have harnessed these machines learning abilities to build AIMM.

Your new dating BFF/GURU.

AIMM can find you the perfect person to split a double XL small cheese pizza with over a pitcher of beer a glass of wine.

Real world applications. Amirite?

AIMM knows how often you Google “How late is Pizza My Heart open?”

I’m kidding.

Or am I? 

Imagine having a constant WingRobot in your pocket.

At all times.

AIMM uses IBM Watson – a really friggen’ cool conversational intelligence technology to create the first conversational app on the app store. 

It makes all other apps and friends seem irrelevant.

You can talk to AIMM and it will listen and respond with more questions?!?!?!

Step it up, “friends.”

It will ask questions about your personal life and where you see yourself in 5 years?!

AIMM now has a leg up over 40% of my friends.

That’s pretty awesome.

Almost as awesome as the time I saw Chris and Krystal from Bachelor in Paradise IRL.

AND THEN the more you use the internet if that’s possible,

the more AIMM learns(!!) the tea on what you’re really looking for in a person.

Say goodbye to having to pretend “you love to travel!”

AIMM knows you watch 6 hours of Netflix a day.


Ok, sure.

Except that AIMM knows you UberEats McDonalds nuggets at 2am.

AIMM gets to the real you.

It also guides you through introductory conversations – just like a real WingRobot should.

It helps you set up FaceTimes and phone dates with a perfectly curated match.

So you can find someone to share those nuggets with.

At 2am.

Because that’s how true love is made.

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